Tired but Wired? 4 Ways to Calm Your Mind Before Bed
by Aliya Banks | Category: Mental Health, Wellness, Self-Growth | 4 Minute Read
We’ve become a society of busy bees — juggling kids, commutes, and constant deadlines. By the time we catch a “break,” we’re scrolling through apps, numbing out, and searching for something to make us smile or distract us.
When do we actually pause, process, and just breathe? Honestly, we don’t.
And that’s exactly what leads to those restless nights:
“Who does Tracy think she is?”
“I know this project won’t be done on time.”
“I’m probably gonna be late on that bill again.”
💭These thoughts—harmless by day—become loud at night. Welcome to what I call the Overthinking Night Sessions, when your brain finally has time to process everything it didn’t get to during the day.
If you’ve ever hit the pillow only to end up wide-eyed 10 minutes later, you’re not alone. Before we dive into what to do, let’s start with what not to do when you’re trying to ease into rest.
1. Stop Forcing Yourself to Stop Thinking
When you tell yourself “I just won’t think about it,” you’re actually triggering what psychologists call the Ironic Process Theory, also known as the Pink Elephant Paradox. The more you resist a thought, the more it insists on being noticed.
What you resist, persists.
*Instead of fighting your thoughts, redirect them. The mind is like a restless child — give it something positive to play with. Try gratitude.
*List everything that went well today, no matter how small. Think of the people you’re grateful for. Gratitude grounds you in what’s real and right, not what’s missing. It’s a mental shift that instantly feels good — and that’s the point.
2. Skip the Late-Day Coffee
Caffeine can linger in your body for up to six hours (sometimes longer). It raises cortisol — the stress hormone that tells your body to stay alert. The result? You’re wired when you should be winding down.
Trade the caffeine rush for sunlight, movement, or breathing.
*Instead of reaching for that 4 p.m. latte, take a quick walk, stretch, or step outside for natural light. Small resets like this boost focus without sabotaging your sleep later.
3. Calm the Chaos — Inside and Out
Something is always beeping, ringing, or buzzing. We are bombarded by artificial light all day from our phones and laptops. There's the intensity of driving and the blare of horns on the road. We come home and watch drama or horror shows to 'relax'. Our minds can’t rest if our environments don’t. The constant pinging of phones, the glare of screens, and the emotional noise of the day keep the nervous system in “on” mode.
*Start by dimming lights an hour before bed. Swap your phone for a journal — a simple brain dump or gratitude list slows your mind’s momentum.
Peace doesn’t start at bedtime. It starts with what you allow in the hour before it.
*Then create a simple nighttime ritual that feels nurturing: a warm shower, a cup of chamomile tea, or a few drops of lavender oil on your temples. You’re retraining your brain to associate nighttime with calm rather than stimulation.
4. Ground Your Body Before Bed
Sometimes it’s not just the mind that’s restless — it’s the body. Gentle stretches, slow breathing, or progressive muscle relaxation can release the physical tension that overthinking creates.
*Try this: inhale through your nose for four counts, exhale through your mouth for six. Repeat until your breath feels easy. Even five minutes can signal safety and rest to your nervous system.
The body always knows the way back to calm — we just have to follow its lead.
Final Thought
Sleep doesn’t come from forcing quiet — it comes from creating it. Redirect your thoughts. Nourish your body. Soften your surroundings. Do these things consistently, and soon enough, rest won’t feel so far away.
